There are a lot of books and articles on how to raise successful kids. There is no right or wrong although, we can argue that there are some “wrongs” that are universal. I do believe that this is very much a subjective matter. After all, what does success mean? What’s successful for a family might not be what counts for other. So, how to raise successful kids without falling for any of today’s b.s.?
First, it’s worth looking at some of the research done. Below you’ll find some of the findings that make sense. This is based on Christine’s Carter’s book, Raising Happiness – 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents. I’m only outlining a few points from my perspective:
How To Raise Successful Kids
- Happiness
- Social skills / how to build relationships
- Teaching optimism
- Emotional intelligence
- Adequate play time
- Self-discipline
So what are the most important areas when considering how to raise successful kids? Based on science of “common sense”, I do believe that there are five key factors to consider.
Happiness
Without a doubt this is critical. And it starts with you as a parent. If you’re miserable, you’ll reflect that on how you treat your kids. Work on yourself first. Get it as right as you can. You’ll then be able to project that happiness onto your kids. As you know, every single toddler sees and copies your behaviour. Be happier by focusing on what you’re grateful for. I’m not getting into how to be happy as a parent here. The message is clear, get happier.
Playtime
One of the fundamental building blocks to happier and successful kids. Playtime is an amazing way for the kids to discover the world around them. To touch, feel and wonder. This doesn’t have to be scheduled in or follow a rigid plan. Let the kids play and run around. Ideally, you’ll want to have them outdoors. Get to the playgrounds where other kids are present to encourage social interaction. Playtime is how kids learn. Give them that unstructured playtime so they can learn and develop.
Encouragement / Taking Risks
Positive parenting is key here. There’s a video on this if you’re not sure what it entails on our site. Please watch it. Encouraging your kids is key in developing their self-esteem. That combined with the safe assurance that you are there is a huge factor in developing successful kids. For example, how many times have you said “good job” when your kid went down the slide at the park or is eating well? Keep this with any other positive behaviour that he or she is showing. Encouragement and positivity are crucial factors.
Emotional Intelligence / Building Relationships
Building relationships and having emotional intelligence are also critical elements to a child’s development. By being able to identify emotions and building relationships with others, kids develop a good psychological well-being. One of the areas to begin with is to let your child know that feelings are OK but that certain negative behaviour is not. Explaining the reasons in clear details will help the child understand what is right and what is wrong. This will guide your child to knowing how to focus their emotions which will help them in the long-term as more relationships are developed.
Reasonable Boundaries / Discipline
Discipline is hard. No one teaches us how to do it. We do what we think is right based on what we know in the past. I believe that we should discipline with explanation each time discipline is needed. There is a fine line between being too controlling and setting up reasonable boundaries. Understanding the principle of why something is not allowed gives the kids the ability to sort out between what is acceptable and what is not.
Healthy Environment
I strongly believe that providing a good diet and overall healthy lifestyle for your kids goes a long way. I’m not referring to second hand smoke here and the other obvious unhealthy factors. I’m speaking about lifestyle choices as a family. For example, your daily habits as a family are important. Eating your dinner together as a family for example. Getting enough sleep, going for walks, showing love toward each family member and letting your kids make their own choices within reasonable limits can help form on overall healthy environment.
How to raise successful kids is very subjective. Although there is science based evidence, who really raises their kids on a set rule of 10 principles?
I’m fully aware that the above factors are very limited. However, I do believe that these are the core building blocks.
What about you? What do you consider as the top key factors on how to raise successful kids? Are these on your list? If not, do let us know which ones you see as critical so we can all learn and benefit from each other.
