Becoming a father. What’s it like? Can you be prepared for it ahead of time? Is there a book that tells you all? The answer is simple. No. Becoming a father is very much a personal journey. Although, there are similarities on what new fathers go through, each father experiences fatherhood in his own way. The fatherhood journey therefore, is very much subjective. Speaking of that, here’s what I’ve learned so far that no book or YouTube video could prepare me for.
What I learned by becoming a father
Patience
You become more patient. Learning how to be patient is critical. If you don’t master this, you’ll have a difficult time. Patience is such a key trait to have and develop when having kids that no one can truly measure it or speak of it until you experience raising kids. I’ve never though of the amount of patience that it takes to raise kids, so I’ve always discounted parents that had three or five kids with them at the time. Now, I salute them because I know what it takes. It takes a lot of patience. Patience, patience and patience. A key ingredient of being a grounded father.
Time
You value time more. Trading time for money. When I was younger, I thought that chasing the dollar was the ultimate goal. Now that I’m “wiser” and have two boys, this changed. And it changed for the better because, trading time for money is not worth it. There’s always the back and forth decision of, “I can earn more by taking on X, Y, Z client” but in the end, how much dollar value can you put on seeing your kids smile, scream or being excited to discover a new toy or sound. Don’t get me wrong, money is important but use your head wisely. My advice, think twice about trading time for money. Make sure your family is onboard with your sacrifices and goals to meet your financial objective.
Money / Investing / Financial Independence
You become more financially savvy when becoming a father. I’ve talked about trading time for money above. There’s a fine balance between earning and spending quality time with your children. Having a career, a business or being financially independent is important. So work out a plan that gives you the ability to achieve that. So why is money, investing and financial indolence more important now that I’m a father? It’s because I want to spend more time with my children. I want to spend time educating, traveling and being able to do what I want when I want. The only way to be able to do this is by planning each step that will get you closer to your desired financial goal.
Confidence
You’ll be more confident. I’m very fortunate to learn from my education, work and traveling that I’ve done so far. This gave me confidence in that no matter what, things will work out in the end. A lot of people are afraid to leave their town, their state or country. What a mistake. The lessons you’ll learn by traveling can never be taught in a classroom or understood by a friend’s great trip wrap-up when catching up.
A higher level of confidence helps with raising your children. It’ll help them become more independent and more importantly emotionally intelligent when it comes to other cultures. If you haven’t been in a position to travel much, that’s OK. Start taking short trips with the family and expand that to a longer one, potentially living in a different country for a while. Obviously, it all depends on finances and other obligations, but if you want to do it, you’ll find a way to make it happen.
Inquisition
You’ll become a “child again”. I’ve always been inquisitive. Perhaps is part of being a Gemini! Carry that on to your kids. The wonder, inquisition and knowledge sought builds positivity and overall development of your children. One of the easiest way is to do this is by taking a car toy and exploring how it’s made, its parts and how it all functions. Great lessons here in building that inquisitive mind that will help tremendously as the kids grow up. There’s not much development when watching endless videos or movies. Lesson here: becoming inquisitive again is awesome.
Diet
You’ll eat better. Your diet is a major player in how you plan and build activities with your children. This is especially important for “older” fathers. You’ll want to eat better because that will give you a lot more energy and the ability to do a lot of fun activities outdoors: hide and seek, swimming, football, cycling, you name it! If you continue eating poorly, that will show through your energy levels. And if you’re a father of one, two or more, you need that energy! So, eat well and enjoy your time chasing the kids around. It’s one of the best things ever; feeling healthy and having fun outdoors with the kids.
These are some of the learnings that I’m happy to share when becoming a father. What about you? What are some of your learnings when becoming a father? Please comment below so we can all learn from each other.
